Sunday, October 10, 2010

Full circle!

A long time ago a boy lived in a small town on countryside, and loved a simple country side girl.  They had been friends since childhood, but then the conservative society had made them switch too secretive way of communications. This was the era where text messages were sent and received in form a crumpled paper balls, and they used to do so. One day, boy decided that it was time to take next step, and graduate from being just friends to lovers, and he wrote a love letter to her, crumpled up and dropped it when no one was looking, and she picked it up as skill fully as he had dropped. 

That night boy was a little to curious, he could not control his excitement, wanted to see her reaction when she read his letter, that way he would be ready to face the answer when she actually delivers it to him, whatever it was going to be, yes or no, it was going to be tough. So he crept to just below her room's window, where she had mentioned she used to read his notes. And he could look at her through her window, mesmerized. Her silky smooth skin, with black flowing hair sliding off her shoulder, her true beauty in her full splendour was visible, and she had that piece of paper, a piece of his heart in her hand. She is reading it.

"Nooooooooo" she screams, and lights go off! And he can hear her crying! Heartbroken the boy returns home, and unable to sleep that night, he cannot understand her rejection of him. Everything in this village reminds him of her, and her rejection rings in his ears, he decides to leave the village. Still, he does not want his parents to suffer; he does not want them to know that he is in reality running away. 

He ponders on his option, and while he is doing so, he avoids old pals and places. On one such unknown route he meets an older Gentleman who is not from the village, and gains his confidence by helping him unstuck a wheel of his horse carriage. In a pub down the route boy learns that the Gentleman is from the army. Boy starts asking him lot of questions and gentleman starts answering, thinking like any village lad this boy also has many dreams and is curious of outside world. 

                Boy: "So does a bullet hurt much?"

                Gentleman: "It hurts a lot," now quite drunk "but nothing hurt's more than a broken heart."

Boy had got his answer, next morning he packs his bags, tells parents, who feel proud of him, after all they have had a rich army background. It is army, which shall take him places, take him away from this village, from her. 

First day into army, and he is put in to hardship, but nothing deters him, he just makes a name for himself "The Unbreakable" nothing and nothing hurts him, no amount of punishment, no amount of exercise, no amount of hardship ever changes the expression on his face. All this is attributed to his military bloodline. A true blue army blood! Like the blue coats they respected. 

One year into army and he has become one of the strongest recruits, and now has been posted in a remote tough terrain border area of the empire, but this guy is relentless, he does not even crave woman! Not even once in a blue moon! Rumours start spreading, of him being gay. Instances of him looking away from women ( for he still sees her in every woman who comes across him) are discussed among colleagues without having any background knowledge. No one tries to ask him, "Why?" 

Until one night; an officer above his rank, calls him into his bunker, alone and suggests bending to his wishes. Boy ponders for few minutes, contemplating on whether to deny this man love or to say yes and try loving men for once, for he would never be able to love another woman, and he gives in. He follows his superior's instructions, and loses his virginity to him. This continues till he is posted there, every night, every night learning something new, something different, but never feeling any emotions. And one day, war breaks out! 

The boy's group is sent to the war front, where they are greeted by new commanding officer and two more regiments. On war front, women are seldom available, and many straight men turned gay, and no exclusivity remained. And in this scenario a tough gay man was hard to find, but here was one! His reputation preceded him! Boy had no choice but to give in, he could not say no, he still could not see face of a woman and had no feelings for men, but he gave in, for sake of being accepted in the twisted society he now was in. 

He was heroic! There was no other ruthless, tactful and brutally strong soldier in army, his heroics in battle brought him medals, promotions, out of turn promotions and name and fame to his parents. And his nights never went alone in those bunkers, sleeping with his men, now he had become an expert in that too! He could easily write Kama Sutra for gays, but he still did not have any feelings for them.

In one of the battle he gets injured saving life of one of his men, he is brought to hospital, where a peculiar thing happens. This guy screams at touch of a female nurse and curses them, warning them to never touch him again. He vows to never get injured, never ever.

After a decade since he joined army, after the end of war, the boy had grown to be the Colonel in army, and was given a 6 month long holiday, for he had been in war and performed really well for continuous 4 years and that to without a break in past 10 years. This guy never wanted to go back to his village, the memory of his rejection was still fresher than the last guy he killed in a battle.

Coming back to his village, the boy is hit by the nostalgia, and if nothing else he did miss his parents and his home, and he still misses her. As he reaches home, he hugs his parents and decides to rest for a while. he learns that his sister is married to his best friend in war times, letter must have got lost somewhere at that time.

In evening, his sister along with his best friend and now brother in law, and his tormentor of the decade, the girl walk in to meet him. He looks at her longingly, but moves away to his room. Sensing something to be out of place, his best pal follows him in, and gives him 10 year old letter back.

Boy looks at it, and

                Boy: "Yes! I wrote that letter, what about it?"

                Pal: "Yes, I know, she wrote the answer for you!"

                Boy: "I know it is 'No'! Why is she here, to humiliate me more?"

             Pal: "I should not have read it, but i did, when you left for the army, it does not say 'No'! She said 'Yes' to you!"

The girl walks in!

               Girl: "Why did you leave, without hearing my answer? Why did you make me wait so long?"

               Boy: "What are you talking about? I heard her scream her answer out, the same night I gave her the letter!"

            Girl: "Yes! I did scream that night, because there was a pervert standing outside my window, and I felt my modesty had been compromised."

              Boy: "Noooooooo!" Screams! Last 10 years of his life, flashing through his eyes.

After that the famed Colonel retired from army, got married and left the country to start a new life in country of dreams, across the ocean. 

Reverting back to present, a 70 year old man ask's his eldest grandchild, who is going through a similar situation in his life, while he is surrounded by his family, holding his wife's hand: "So the morale of the story is?"
And before the grandchild to whom it is directed could answer, a 5th grader steps in and says: "God punished grandpa for being pervert!"

And everyone laughs, as grandpa laughed!

Morale: Do not assume response by reaction of people alone, get context of the reaction verified too!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Mistakes!


"My life is made of Mistakes, hope it did not begin as one and certainly do not want it to end as one."

However, that would explain a lot of things, would it not, as being mistakenly send to earth, gods big mistakes, tries to cover it up with all his might, but we are just fine bolts in a perfectly running machine which gives perfect reason for non mistakes to laugh out at, yell at, and get frustrated at. 

If life had never changed in its course and had we never grown up, we would never have anything to look back too, and nothing to analyze and say "Those were the best days of my life" or "That was a big mistake!" Even though we have moved on, life has its ways of giving us those chances to reflect on the past, I just had one such chance. Few days back I moved my place of residence and my mom has asked me to let go of some old possessions, and I started that process, and came across some interesting stuff. 

As a child I wrote some relevant things on first page of note books, on one I did not write anything, my class test book, it had only one test. I had scored 0 out of 20, but I distinctly remembered appearing for more than 1! So where are the rest?

And there they were in second test book for the same subject, guess I never showed the 1st one to mom. Second one is no better in marks department, but then I do remember my teacher smiling at me each time she handed the book to me. She must have taken the words on 1st page seriously. They were: "Life-it ain't easy, it's tough, so what's you gota do is keep a smile on your face, make world a better place to live." That did not make my world any better; I never passed her class test. I guess that's why I wrote the following on last page of book.

Instant formula of success
Boil water in iron vessel
Add 10 dry skin freckles
50 smoking sherikens
10 nails of gecko
10 dead fat bat wings
100 year old blooming lotus

I have no idea what I was reading or watching, that inspired me to consider above remedy, but then it also has not worked, may be the ingredients are too rare.

I also made a secret diary, and wrote only one thing, and that to on it's cover, "Secret Diary" well it was not that simple to open, whoever opened it, would not be able to close it, but then that would not serve the purpose of keeping things secret.

Various doodles of cars and other things made me think, whether I would have been a better designer than an engineer, well unanswerable question now.

And one more fine quote, on music class not book 
"Human aspirations are Infinite Horizons; one can attain them through music."
became
"Human Aspirations are Infinite Horizons, which can never be attained."
for maths book, which were modified to
"Human Aspirations are Infinite Horizons; one can reach through Hard-work, Determination and dedication"
by the maths teacher, as a lesson for me. 

And then there was my 1st poem, an assignment I had to do for English, it was an outcome of a mistake, I was not going to attempt poetry, but an article, however I forgot about that homework, and last moment entry, I was able to jot down few lines which turned out okay! I scored better than I had though, she gave me 6 out of 10 and since then I have never stopped trying poetry.

I have realized one thing: You cannot design your life like a park, which has all the beautiful and fun things, and not a speck of litter. For, when you are busy designing that park, other forces are busy designing dark alleys, stinky gutters, random rubble, etc etc etc, after all, you are not the only architects. Then some people do say: Good fate/bad fate is a resultant of our sins in past life.  For them: You remain stupid, until you die, then you are not enlightened, but you are simply dead stupid. 

So if there were no mistakes, life would be plain boring old story of perfection. 

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Anamika

Uska to kissa har raat ka
uski zindagani hai
kisi ke liye wo bas
ek kahani hai
pariyo ki
rajao ki
aur ranio ki
sukh ke baad
aansuo ki
dukh ke baad
khushiyo ki
Uska to kissa har raat ka
uski zindagani hai
duniya se chupi
begani hai
uski awaaz 
dabi hai
hungame main
kahin 
khoi hai
par koshish
puri hain
Uska to kissa har raat ka
uski zindagani hai
wo kuch aisi
dewani hai
ek khwaish
bhi hain
naino main
ek shararat 
suchi bhi hain
duniya se jeetne ki
zeed bhi hain
Uska to kissa har raat ka
uski zindagani hai
andhere main
ek kiran
kahin koyle main
ek hera
dil main
ek aasha
abhi baki hain
Uska to kissa har raat ka
uski zindagani hai
aaj adhuri
par kabhi toh
puri honi hain
aakhir wobhi
ek kahani hain
Uska to kissa har raat ka
uski zindagani hai.....

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Is it Appropriate?

This post is dedicated to my friends, colleagues and whoever I have communicated in my life time and consider some spoken words to be inappropriate, and I do not try to live any part of humane society.

The most inappropriate thing a woman must have asked another newly married woman to get back at her husband, in his presence "So how was your first night?" And the correspondent goes on to describe it in great detail. Guys are not behind in this game, just that the ploy is employed at start of the relationship, where in one guy tries to prove that he has spent his life achieving more than the other in dreaming up achievements.

People who are not political should say "I Don't Know" when asked about their political inclination, and not something that they just feel is right, for example: "What is your political inclination?" Ans: "Oh! I am straight."

An open invitation to get you killed. Example "To haters of same gotra marriage, be happy that your kid is marrying someone of opposite sex, same gotra is least of your problem" When the speaker shouts this out on a station in Haryana, you should get the picture, when last killings were just 2 days back. This is termed being politically correct at wrong time and place, as far as gotra is concerned, but why comparing it with gay marriages?

Grilling for the sake of personal gain; well most end up doing this, more so in some professions than others; when they themselves would rather be on the same camp. For instance: "I am quite liberal, I have nothing against same sex marriages, but they do not sound natural." This statement has been on TV lot of times. "So would you be friends with someone who is not straight?" Look the interviewer shy always from the use of word "Gay/Lesbian". This is Hypocrisy at its best, when it comes to Gay/Lesbian relationship.

In India we jump on to personal questions instantly, we do not give a second thought to how the opposite person might take it. For instance: Q: "Are you married?" A: "No" Q:"So, do you have a girlfriend?" A:"No, do you?" "No" Next day while walking in a park, you meet that colleague and go: Q: "So you have come here with your brother?"

As soon as your girlfriend goes out to take a call, her best friend asks you: "Is it possible for you to strip dance for us on bachelors party of another best friend." Well a bit extreme, but she hits on you with most obvious words. Most guys sit in same boat too. 

"Inappropriate touch" this is too vague, if you go by Indian cultural standards, any touch to Woman by Man is inappropriate, except hands in support when she asks, or accepts a man's offer; so that tab on the shoulder, pat on back are all inappropriate! That does bring me to a question: How to get a woman to pay attention to you when she is not facing you, you do not know her name and there is lot of noise?-No answer.

Gossiping! I do not have to say anything, one thing leads to another and soon a rumour is believed to be true. 

These are enough for a day!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Pretty Woman!

Hey Woman!
Walking down the street
white top
blue shorts
Pretty Woman
You are breaking my heart!
With every step away
You are taking my breath!
With every flick of strand
those curls
Pretty Woman
Walking down the street
confident
independent
money in hand
she is on a mission
unphased
unnerved
she has her eyes set
she has a way with fashion
Pretty Woman
Walking down the street
cool wind
blue sky
I am having that moment
in life
when every thing else 
seems trivial
&
life is just you!


These words just came to my head, and then a friend of mine just pointed out the scene of Pretty Woman-Julia Roberts, and hence then added the movie name in between, and hence forms a tribute to movie I have liked for years along with the other film from the team: The Runaway Bride. 

Thursday, September 9, 2010

What is Love?

 What  is Love?
a feeling which can not be stopped,
a feeling which can not be started,
a birth which can not be predicted,
a birth which can not be aborted,
a growth which can not be sprouted,
a growth which can not be curtailed,
a possession which can not be valued,
a possession which can not be ignored,
a desire which is desired,
a desire which is least understood,
a gift which everyone prays for,
a gift which should not be missed,
a gift which most fail to recognize,
a gift which fewer accept,
a gift in which even fewer accept to believe in it,
a gift which is mistaken for lust,
and lust mistaken for it,
still,
once accepted
a feeling which has no definite taste,
a feeling which which has no definite mood,
a feeling which leaves its mark,
for eternity,
a desire,
a desire for more,
and more,
and more,
until it gets larger than life,
finding that One
LOVE
It's a hunt not to kill, but to live.



Monday, September 6, 2010

Fasting!

Fasting is such a religious issue in our country, before we started dieting; people in India were fasting for one or the other deity on one or the other day. On going on these fasts many things are supposed to happen, a sort of wish list, for example

1. Getting a good life partner.

So much for the saying that good matches are made in heaven, nope they are bestowed on a person who does maximum fasts, with out most sincerity. I would rather go with fast concept, it explains all the failed or compromise marriages we get to see.

2. Getting Marks.

Some people are content with visiting god "temple/gurudwara/mosque" on the day of results, others on morning of the exam, and then some are hard believers in god, who think god favors those who are regular to worship place rather than the lecture where Professor chats for long hours or spending sometime with books which are matter of fact a way to worship Saraswati-the goddess of Knowledge.

3. Getting an Opportunity.

One big business opportunity/ job opportunity without any efforts into actual proceedings or knowledge is useless, but who cares when "Ram naam japo aur paraya maal apna!" (Chanting name of God Rama can make you owner of property belonging to others) then why waste ones time and effort on actually doing anything.

4. Asking for forgiveness.

This is the most awesome thing about fasting, do wrong, wrong someone and then punish self by not eating and you gain all the sympathy of the world while the victim has to forgive you and forget while situation for him/her does not change. So, one gets forgiven without undoing the wrong, but just showing that you are feeling remorse for your actions.

5. Social Cause.

From Telangana to corruption anything can be solved by this way(that's how image is projected), go on a fast, for the cause of people, gain mileage and if you are lucky enough a seat in next election and a sure win too, for people do fall for this one. And after the mileage is gained, slowly moment is put out of limelight and most people tend to forget the cause and remember the leader.

6. Love.

How come fasting or punishing oneself make him or her fall in love with you? May be 1st point applies here, instead of the best possible match you end up with the one which you want, on most occasions a sub-standard one. Sub-standard, for which person would chose to be with a person who is so unstable when it comes to mind, that s/he is ready to give life up for one other person, only another such unstable person can, I suppose.

7. Married Woman.

For getting same husband again and again! Really! I doubt this reason, i suppose it is for getting a better one next time around. On other hand I think, it is a ritual to boost male ego, that they satisfy her needs so well that she intends to get same partner for all her births in this world, after all she wishes for same husband on 7 births, but if we are really being born again and again the loop of 7 in each of the 7 births easily goes to eternity (This calculation sounds easy to me, I still have some knowledge of computer engineering left in me.:p)

8. Success of someone else.

These selfless people are in true sense fasting for happiness of others, but people do not realize that it in turn makes them happy too! I am not saying that they are not selfless, but it is kind of hobby too! If some one achieves something, which they prayed for, makes them feel connected to god, and gives them a sense of achievement. If you think I am not right just think of the day Sachin Tendulkar scored that double hundred in one day international, did not most fans pray for it, and did they not feel a sense of achievement and also happiness!

9. Inspiration/Workaholic.

Some people just forget to eat while working, these people are workaholics and then some others tend to get there brain to think right in deprived state only, after all Darwins theory of "Survival of Fittest" is not just some conspiracy theory.

Also the religious fast are best among all to perform; you can opt to eat special foods like fruits, dry fruits, special dishes, chips and what not to past the day. Interesting thing is that these all foods tend to be high calorie items on most times.

Well I am stopping my list here, but if you want to add anything, you can live that in comments section.