Saturday, March 15, 2025

The Hurt

  Sharmili was a very introvert, shy person; and her name went with her personality. Had lived her life in almost isolation; few friends; but friends which she could bank on as life savers; school friends with strong bonds. As it was not possible to live without interacting at all; with people around her; with whom she was going to share 12+ years of her life; school life. However, with age and progression comes a time when you leave your comfort zone and end up at new shores. The college.   
 
 
  Everyone; has to restart their life in a way in college; then job; have to find new friends; one can't just live out days only studying. Have to interact. Sharmili; had less time now; only 4 years till end of graduation. First year; she learned names of her classmates; only to know students were to be assigned new classes at start of 2nd year; which was spent in knowing names of the new student again.


  The resets of life, the new shores new beginnings are quite guaranteed in the adult world, a job shift, a shift of location for job, even countries and beyond seven seas to different continents are all on the cards of faith or choices we make. And here is Sharmili still making friends or rather even acquaintances the first task of each year of existence! It becomes difficult if your bar is set lower than the world default; but it's what it is.

  And then comes the third year of college; she makes fast progress and makes bunch of friends. Goes on various trips and learns a lot about all of them; their birthdays; she becomes first to wish, wish all the best for small meaningless tests that others don't even know about. Set reminders for many to not miss landmarks. Sometimes her friends feel like they never ever mentioned the stuff she remembers; but she knows. 

 Only to be hurt; hurt deep enough to reset herself to forget all of it and go into a shell. To live it off solo! For she requested one thing for her friends to remember and believe her. For all her life none had, and it was a special day, but because it happened to be on same day as a day celebrated as fool's day; none believed her for it to be her true birthday. People just brushed it off as an elaborate prank; but this time she believed others would remember it and celebrate it with her. 

  It was not as if she had taken others for granted; and still drop explicitly that its her birthday tomorrow. The 1st of April, and still her friends and just people to-be henceforth, did no celebrations and even ridiculed her for even suggesting as such. The trust was lost, and so were friends; saddened she reclused herself never to mix again. 

  Its not like others did not try to make it up to her later that day or next day; but time had already come to pass; water under the bridge had flowed away.   
 
  Sometimes, small things in one's lives; may hold a lot more significance in others' lives. A slice of bread may not seem much to the Russian Queen who had cake each day during the famine, but held enough significance in the minds of commoners that they killed her and Czar and his family and her Monk Rasputin during rebellion. The analogy may seem extreme, but for Sharmili it may have been the last straw.  

Saath...


Sath hi chale thee kabhi...
Sangh hi chale thee kabhi...
Kab yun kis chal main phas gaya...
Khali kamyabiyo ke tale dhaye gaya...
Jis hath ke liye chala tha...
Jis sath ke liye chala tha...
Wo sath hi bhul aayan hun...

Bada aagye chala aayan hun...
Bada aagye cahla aayan hun...
Kuch rastein badal gayein hain...
Kuch waqt sa badal gayan hain...
Ya kuch main hi badal gayan hu...
Mud ke dekh rahan hun...
Par wo mod hain hi nahi kahin...

Saath hi chale thee kabhi...
Wo sath hi bhul aaya hu...
Wo sukun hi tha sath mere tere...
Jis aas main itna chala hu main... 
Wo wahi hain....
Tum kahi aur chal pahuchi...
Main kahin aur chala aayan hun...

Ab toh ye jahan alag hain...
Ab toh tera jahan alag hain...
Par Kehna tumhise hain...
Jab saath tha toh hamosh tha...
Ab shabdh hain toh kisse sunau...
Koi samajhne wala nahi hain...
Wo sukun chod aaya kahin main....

Saath hi chale thee kabhi...
Hathon main hath liye...
Kuch hum chakachond huin...
Kuch tum...
Aur yun kab rahein badli....
Ki hum loont na sake....
Ek kadam do kadam...  
Kadam dar kadam fasle badhtein gayein...

Faslein badhtein gayein....


Sunday, December 27, 2020

Crazy Thing Love!

This crazy thing;
No less than mind control;
I have lost functions;
Of my head;

All I Want is to;
        See you    Click you    Love You

All I want is to;
        Touch You    Kiss You    Feel You 

Things I need to do;
The responses I need to give;
My emotions are in turmoil;
Smiling away like a fool;

All I do is to;
        Go Crazy over you    Mushy Over You    Dazy over You

All I do is to;
        Do to Know You    To Woo You    To Love You

What ever it may be;
its all about you;
The ten's of things I think off;
all lead to you;

 All I want is to;
        Hold You    Cuddle You    Warm You
All I want is to;
        Fondle You    Caress You    Lift You

To be with you;
Even when not with you;
Even in your innocence;
I lose my innocence;

All I want is .....to be with Youuuuu......
    

Saturday, October 24, 2020

Come to me....

When the weather is bad;

I will come to you;

When the weather is good;

You come to me;

When I am happy;

feeling lucky;

I will share it with you;

When you are feeling blue;

tears in eyes;

seek me out;

When the weather is good;

clear blue skies;

just have fun;

When the weather is bad;

the skies are stormy;

lets share an umbrella together;

so come to me;

When the days are bright;

nights are right;

dance your way through life;

When the times are tough;

trying up your mind;

let lose some weight to my shoulders;

so come to me;

When the weather is bad;

I will come to you;

When the weather is good;

You come to me;

When there's good news from me;

you will be first to hear;

If there's bad news;

I will be there with you;

for you;

so come to me;

If there is something;

troubling you;

speak your mind;

If there is something;

holding you back;

don't hold back;

If there is something;

stopping you;

just go;

I will be there;

when you require;

I will stay;

if you desire;

I will let go;

if you aspire to fly away;

I will be still there....when you require..

When the weather is bad;

I will come to you;

When the weather is good;

You come to me...

Sunday, August 16, 2020

Its hard for me...

Its hard for me;
to forget you;
to give up;
on all those dreams;
on all the fun times;

Its hard for me;
to not miss you; 
to not see;
the smile on your face;
the warmth in your eyes;

Its hard for me;
to hate you;
to hate;
the way you look at me;
the way you make me feel;

Its hard for me;
to love you;
to love;
your trust in me;
my reliance on you;
 
Its hard for me;
to forget you;
deep in my heart;
in a desolate corner;
I will always remember......you......

 
 


Monday, August 3, 2020

The way of the world

Hmmm Hmm Hmmm
 
The way of world
is not what you should follow
suppressing feelings
for the thought of the world
is not what you should follow
 
cry when the eyes tear up
smile when the thoughts clear up
feelings are not to be gobbled up
 
The way of world
is not what you should follow
suppressing feelings
for the short lived goal
is not what you should follow
 
scream when anger heats up
laugh when happiness bubbles up
love het is not to be locked up
 
The way of world
is not what you should follow
pleasing false gods
for the claps of the world
is not what you should follow
 
clear up your head
leave of your dress
be born again
 
The way of world
is not what you should follow
for the material world
grasping the fleeting dreams
is not what you should follow
 
before the time slips by
never know when its time
saying goodbye
 
The way of world
is not what you should follow
for the material world
loosing the way in rat race
is not what you should follow
 
living behind a legacy
or a fond memory
for a loved one to love
 
The way of world
is not what you should follow
for the glimpse of fame
trampling over the hundred dreams
is not what you should follow
 
be sad when sad
be happy when happy
be true to true self
 
The way of world
is not what you should follow
looks wont last
cling to false bonds
is not what you should follow
 
the time shall pass
tears shall run dry
but true love shall last
 
The way of world
is not what you should follow
suppressing feelings
for the thought of the world
is not what you should follow
 
hmmmm ...hmm..hmmmm

Sunday, July 26, 2020

Beyond the Grave....

My Love from the grey;
beyond the grave;
long and far away;
I don't know what I miss;
but something's amiss;

The darker than dark among the Shadows;
Lurking among my half imaginations;
amusing hallucinations;
scarily reassuring;
spreading warmth from the cold corner;

My Love from the grey;
beyond the grave;
long and far away;
I don't know what I miss;
but something's amiss;

Watching over me;
The God over my lonely soul;
being my unseen company;
unaware in bliss;
ending my loneliness;

My Love from the grey;
beyond the grave;
long and far away;
I don't know what I miss;
but something's amiss;

Blood curdling screams;
the unwanted scenes;
silent killing of dreams;
worldly possessions, obsessions;
anchoring me to life;

My Love from the grey;
beyond the grave;
long and far away;
I don't know what I miss;
but something's amiss;

The allure to reach out;
the blur beyond the grey;
the creak covered in creeps;
the mist surrounding, making the grim scene;
blocking my reach;

My Love from the grey;
beyond the grave;
long and far away;
I don't know what I miss;
but something's amiss;

My Love from the grey;
beyond the grave;
long and far away;
someday;
I will live out my stay and........meet you beyond the grave...