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Sunday, December 4, 2011

Perceptitude!


Raj was getting bored, rather was missing his girl friend, still in stage when he would miss her all the time, when she was not there. It was still early in love.

Out of nothing else could be done unless he hears her sweet voice, he calls her.

Triiiiiinnnnngggg Triiiiinnnnnnnggggg…….

She did not pick the 1st call up and Raj was just able to sit in his bed and hear all the 13 rings ring in vain.
Raj: “Why is she not picking up the damn phone?”

With greater resolve to get through this time, he calls her up again.

Triiiiiinnnnngggg Triiiiinnnnnnnggggg…….

Again 12 rings go by, and as the time nears for the 13th and the last ring, a drop of sweat dribbles down Raj’s forehead, he contemplates on giving up, and then with new found determination from depths of his love, for her, he wills the phone to be picked up.

And……..she picks up the phone, and …….keeps the receiver down on the side.

Raj is devastated.

Raj: “Helloo! Hellow!!!”

No answer.

Raj: “Helloo!!!”

Click…….phone goes to engage tone.

Raj: “She, my beloved Ritu; does not want to speak with me any more, she does not want to be with me any more, she is breaking up! She is dumping me! Why! Why does this happens only with me? Only me!”

No, she is not that kind of girl, Ritu is not like Ritika, she is not the kind of girl who would leave me. Is she? One more time….I will try calling her 1 more time.

Engage tone.

Raj is devastated, storms out of the room and as is not able to think clearly, as always turns to his best friend to drown out all sorrow. He makes it for the strongest beer available near his place. And sooner than ever he is down for the count, his senses have gone.

Raj: “What am I supposed to do! My life is over, I can not live without her! It’s all Rahul’s fault, he offered her chocolate, din’t he! So she has fallen for him! I should have beaten him up, before, but its not that late now! Rahul get ready, I am coming.”

Stumbles out of his seat, and somehow reaches the society where Rahul stays.

Raj: Shouts at top of his voice “Rahul! You f**king d**k! Come out, I am going to hit you!”

Rahul the hot headed macho man comes out and one punch does it, Raj is cold out for hours, transported back to his room by his friends, who are quite puzzled by his behaviour.

After about 3 or 4 hours, in middle of night, Raj wakes up with a head ache, partly due to hang over and partly due to punch to head. And as he tries to make sense of it all, some part of the night comes back to him.

Raj: “Why am I alive? I should be dead! I can not live without Ritu and neither can I fight for her! I should be dead! It is time to end this misery!”

Raj stands in his gallery, looking over the night lights of his city, and remembers one of his Sir’s words

“Life can look ironically beautiful when you are at the end of it.”

And decides to make one last call, call to his Sir.
Triiiiiinnnnnngggggg……

In middle of night, rather approaching dawn, phone is picked up in 1st ring.

Sir: “Is this the time to call! Are you in right sense of your mind? By the way, who are you?”

Raj: “I am Raj, Sir. And I am committing suicide.”

Sir: “Why?” So he is really not in right sense of his mind.

Raj: “Ritu has dumped me, she is not picking up my calls, I can’t live without her.”

Sir: “Hmmm….. I Will try and talk to her, put your suicide on hold till I call you back. Is it ok?”

Raj: Like a person who has given up hope. “Ok.”

Sir thinks for a minute and calls up Raj’s friend, and directs him to check on Raj, and do anything that is possible to get him to safety.

Next call to Ritu…

Trrriiinnnggggg…….

The call is picked up even before the 1st ring has completed 1/4th of its normal duration.

Ritu: “Hi Raj, My parents are here could not talk to you in evening, cant meet you tomorrow, please bear with me.”

Sir: “Ritu; I am not Raj, but that fool is going to commit suicide right now, thinking you have dumped him. Please call him.”

Ritu: “Sir; Sorry Sir!”

Sir: “Will you be able to call him?”

Ritu: “I am not sure!”

Sir: “Ok.”

1st thing Ritu does is calls Raj up, and tells him….

Ritu: “I am not dumping you, I love you, my parents are here, talk to Sir.”

Then sir’s call comes in.

Sir: “Raj; did you get Ritu’s call?”

Raj: “Yes, sir! Sorry Sir!”

Sir: “Did you understand what happened?”

Raj: “No Sir, but Ritu loves me!”

Sir: So fool stopped listening after the love part! Sigh! “Ok! That is good, but listen carefully now, are you there?”

Raj: “Yes Sir!”

Sir: “Ritu’s parents are here, they are staying with her, so no call’s or meeting her till few days. Ok? Did you understand?”

Raj: “Yes Sir!”

Sir: “What did I say?”

Raj: “No calling Ritu, no meeting her, till her parents go.”

Sir: Phew! “Ok! Now give phone to Rahul.”

Raj gives phone to Rahul.

Rahul: “Yes Sir?”

Sir: “Stay with the fool, in-case he tries anything foolish, like climbing her compound gate.”

Rahul: “Yes Sir.”

Raj is finally asleep, with an unproductive day added to his long list of unproductive days.

Moral: Do not assume situation you are in, based on your past experience alone.