Friday, April 23, 2010

Suuuuupervisor!

This week on birthday, I got to be a Invigilator/Supervisor for an exam of 3 hours. The superlative "Super" makes it sound lot more important than it really is supposed to be, then Suuuppper from any south Indian movie used for a toffee seems to be a better scenario than being Supervisor. Although the second part of the term "Visor" has some connection, visor keeps glass clean, here; eyes open! Hence, easier to keep an eye on students and not allowing them to copy, at end of the day, that was my job. I had my doubts, but head supervisor showed full faith in me! God bless him!

I reach this place, exam center, take those Question Papers and answer sheets and take down all the instructions in my head. And make way to a noisy class; by the level of noise, its clear I will have my eyes fully occupied in order to stop all boys from copying. I take a deep breath and I am in.

Head supervisor comes in and announces that I am a newbie, please co-operate with him and do not try to take advantage of this fact. In muted thoughts: "So much for belief in me!"

First impression, there are as many girls as there are boys, seems like not a single more nor a single less, almost. Then its cue for me to start distributing the papers, and cue for boys to keep quiet, however to my surprise, it's their cue to go to their respective class.

I am standing in this class and I find the real occupants of the class to be over 90% Girls. In class where 30 are seating, 26 are girls. Only one thing came to my mind!

"Who the hell was the person, who drew these lots and sent a bachelor in a class of 26 girls to keep an eye on them?" You see, I needed to thank him! Okay! I am not talking of small girls here, if you are getting any different ideas, a class full of 21 years and above aged, to complete post-graduation in a year!

There, a girl comes close, hands over a text book, and asks me to keep it with me for safe keeping. And gives a mischievous smile, rather a grin from eye to eye! Hmmm! She might be trouble, I thought, good looking though, bubbly in her life. And then on last bench one of the guys, burly and somewhat awkward seating position, very suspicious.

And student start writing, one of the instructions was: "I should stand through, whole duration: 3 hours of exam!" and at end of 1st Quarter of 1st hour, I am looking at my watch and it said "Only 15 minutes have completed, and your legs are giving way so soon!"

As I made my rounds, I see some of the most beautiful handwritings, except for when most guys were writing the paper, except for one. The burly guy's paper was so unreadable, I already prayed for the examiner. The mischievous girl was writing her paper, very peculiar style, she used left hand, that's okay, but her pen slanted away from her body, in-case you are standing in front of her, a little towards left, the pens back would point at you. But still, handwriting was beautiful! As she was writing, I had doubt about her speed, and so checked where other girls were, on same point, the girl immediately ahead of her, next to her, 3 behind her, all in next row! Either they were master of copying from each other's paper or they had bi-hearted every single sentence! Hence kept my eyes open on that side, and as they finished that question, some changes were evident.

Signatures had to be taken on attendance, and put on papers, and I had made a mistake everywhere, a helpful girl came to my rescue, and corrected me, thanks to her I did not get the brunt of my superiors!

1 hour is not over and summer heat is showing its colour, water, water, shouts and hands went up! I was reduced to water distributer, thanks to supply of bottles, bought by girls, this was not tough.

One would seldom think of using a supplement, for main paper is long and 20 pages thick for answering 6 questions, but they started asking. 1....then 2nd girl...........3rd and so on, by the end of 2 hour, all girls had taken supplements except for one, and none of the boys had taken except for one.

At this time some odd things started to happen, one of the girl started setting her hairs, while I was standing behind her, long beautiful stresses, silky, light, dark, free flowing! Oh! Hell! Why am I here? Then she uses some talc on her back! This was certainly not the best place to be in! And so I moved.

Now it was about 45 minutes to finish the paper, and most guys started to leave the room, girls stayed put, asking for supplement after supplement after supplement. Some took about 5 supplements! Only if it were gym, guys would have done better in supplement department, at least, those present in this room.

At about 2 and half hours a girl got up from her seat, jumped down two steps and tapped on the shoulder of a guy, who was writing seriously and had good handwriting, her words were "Jaldi kar! Mera ho gaya!" (Complete fast, I have completed!) I think Sinhagad must be waiting! In next 15 minutes they left.

In all over 70 supplements were taken, and judiciously utilized. Make-up girl took most 5 supplements, so did the helpful girl! But I was very much impressed by the girl who did not take a single supplement, attempted all Questions and for she did not waste any space on paper, no margins, no fancy designs, no starting new Question on new page, no starting of answer on only full page sides. Hope, she scores well! That's lot of saving! Hope she scores well.

Ah! I forgot one thing, each girl smiled whenever I asked them something or when they asked me something. In all, was a fun day! Happy birthday to me!


Thursday, April 15, 2010

Venus Vs Mars

Venus Vs Mars, well most who read books on relationship would know about "Men from Mars & Women are from Venus" by John Gray. Well he talked about behaviour, I am going to add some point to that list, and really going to put the two against each other.

Its morning you wake and next you smell the hair of a girl, it smells fresh, she wakes up, moves around does exercise, and still smells sweet, she takes bath comes out and smells sweet, she goes to work, you go to work, pass her by and she smells sweet at breakfast, lunch, evening break, and when she is just stopped running or walked quickly due to a broken sandal. She smells sweet when you two go out for an outing, during dance, after dance, dinner, back at home, when you go to bed, and when you go to sleep again. Its like Venusian smells sweet almost all the time! Well, almost because even if a Venusian falls in filth, she is going to smell like filth.

On other hand, a Marsian, well the word Marsian sounds so much like Marshian, that is from Marshy places! Smells like a pig, now how many Men have heard that compliment! Run 10 minutes, 2 minutes walk in the sun, a brisk exercise, or even just waking up from a long slumber, a man ends up smelling bad for no reason at all, if it were not for the deodorant, Men would be doomed! You see Men are filth personified.

Have you ever heard a Venusian's voice out of control, out of context, out of sequence? You must have, some of them can jump from one topic to another as if its a ballade, they are so twinkle feet on the tongue and on feet too! Have you ever seen a Venusian who is two left feet, no way, even if they are; a Marsian would never be able to make out.

Marsian stick to few topics, those of a learned men: Politics, Venusians, Sports, Venusians, Gadgets, Venusians, Work, Venusians, ...........And some more Venusians. When it comes to dance moves, most Marsians have to start early, and only then they can look natural, others have to join various classes.

An eye for detail, Venusians can spot fashion mistakes, colour mismatches, something that they like can be spotted from far far away, discounts, a nice small ear stud/ring, its design, every thing! Marsians miss such details.

Marsians do miss such details, but all is not at lost here. Whether they are driving, talking, working, using phone or anything, a Marsian with his heart at right place will never miss a Venusian pass by, unnoticed, and yes it does not spoil the work they are doing, they are natural at it, almost. Well in-case this Venusian happens to be rearrest of them all, something may go wrong.

Venusians are almost obsessed with cleaning, like okay, some specimens do procrastinate till its the last thing to do and nothing else is on list and they are not tired, but still being clean is one big difference here. If they do not wash clothes themselves, a maid would be hired, or laundry would be given to dry cleaners. But still it would be clean.

Here Marsians do procrastinates cleaning to the point till they want to impress someone, are scolded for not being so by someone in authority, or are not able to find something important. Dry cleaning is one of favourite way of cleaning which a Marsian uses, specially when a Venusian is not available to do it for him. It involves 3 easy step, Unclothe, shake them in air and Clothe again.

Well that all for today!

Friday, March 26, 2010

I Know but...

You hope
I would have
learnt my lesson
by now
I know
I should have
learnt my lesson
by now
To reach out
to yoooooooou
I need to speak out
You are so far
so far from
my inner voice
you are so near
still
so far away
And all I wanted
was some sunshine
and all the time
all I needed
was youuuuuuuu
all I needed
was
your touch
all I needed
was youuuuuuuu
I wish
I would have
learnt my lesson
by now
I wish
I could have
learnt my lesson
by now
was that a sign
I should have
got
was there a sign
I could have
missed
And all I wanted
was some rain
And all the time
All I needed
was yooooooooooou
All I needed
was
your hand in my hands
All I needed
was youuuuuuuuuu
You thought
I would have
learnt my lesson
by now
I hope
I should have
learnt my lesson
by now
oh! nooooo
I did not
where did I lack
where it went all
wrong
All I wanted
was to hum a song
And All the time
All I needed
was yooooooooooou
All I needed
was
a walk along side you
All I needed
was youuuuuuuuuu
You wish
I would have
learnt my lesson
by now
You wish
I could have
learnt my lesson
by now
but noooooo
Why I not understand
Why did I
messed-up
All I wanted
was a rainbow
And All the time
All I needed
was youuuuuuuuuuu
All I needed
was
your arms around me
All I needed
was youuuuuuuuu
You hope
I would have
learnt my lesson
by now
I know
I should have
learnt my lesson
by now


Thursday, March 25, 2010

Rise & Fall

Rise and fall
as if
at a toss of a coin
a step there
a step here
and there again
&
fortunes change
dancing at the beats
beats of life
A Man goes through
life
like a river it flows
heating this bank
or that one
over there
it hits
turning
churning and
turning a lot
the wheels of
fortune
machines of
thoughts
now and then
thrown into
a company of few
few old ones
rest new
else mostly lives on
lives on all alone
craving for more
& some more
more than before
and
far more than more
never less than before
the greed goes on
and creeps in
the fear
fear of losing all
fear of losing some
fear of being not known
fear of being forgotten
fear of dying alone
fear of living alone
in fear
if
left alone
stops the flow
flow of life
too late
too enjoy that moment
too be with that loved one
too smell that flower of love
too share that last candy
its too late


Saturday, March 20, 2010

Shocking!



Lately, I have been shocked by many things, but the static electric shock is the only one I ever feel! For lately, shocking is the silent word of the season, unless you are doing a Havels ad! Where its explicitly used multiple times. I love that ad though, and the new one too, not only does its about shock in real sense, and has shock element playing in background too! Not so shocking now that we have heard of Shiny Ahuja case.

Here is one:



Polo, Hole in mint ad has played around shock element too, the see through one.

Then its reality show, where in it is promoted as no acting done, everything real. What a boon for wanna be actors but lagging in one critical aspect, that is acting and one more: keeping a clean image!

It would not make it to news too, if it's not shocking, well breaking: It's said as if it will shock you! So even if its well known India would not qualify for soccer world cup, line would read: Breaking News: India did not Qualify. Duh!

Sleaze: Breaking News: Rakhi kissed by Mikha! For once, this did shock me! Now come on, why would any one want to kiss her?

Here is the only form of her that i like!


News papers are catching on, a normal accident story of two bikes makes it to front page, for it was between father and son, and unfortunately father died. That also proves: Like father like son: both were/are bad drivers. Well let the father RIP.

The last three letters of above para, just put RIP any where, except for the grave, where its obvious, and again the shock element is achieved.

Axe effect: Now why would a normal girl wear bikini in a town, in a middle of desert, not that I do not like it, but still! ( P.S. This was pointed out by my fiancée)

Then we have had Nithyananda (Meaning always in mood for some fun, if you knew the meaning, it does not sound that much of shocking!), those politicos: ones who let the police inspector die on road. Another baba involved in sex trade, what was his name, well what's in a name; specifically when diary contains thousands and nothing happens, next day he was having beer in a cup of chai, sorry #chai group on twitter.

Personal shock! I got featured in Pune Mirror! Of all the good tweets I tweet, about religion, peace, sports, social things, Politics, and not so god ones( as far as my parents would label them). I am thankful that it was not the latter one, still a tweet about Pune's day is fit for a picnic! WoW!

The first Indian topic to trend on twitter turned out to be the colour of your undies! Unfortunately this time TV news channels did not make much hay of it, may be cause it was preceded by Bra colours on Facebook!

Pune gets a blast! One lousy bomb goes off, and then its learned that bomb had to taste the patience of people for long time, how ignorant can people be, may be that innocent looking bag was not shocking enough! Hell, it was not, until it blew up.

Also, Sachin getting his Double in ODI! It had been so close but so far each time before, of all the innings I watched, and one day I dont, he shocks all, while me who was asking one from him, did not get to watch a single ball! Sachin! for me get one more, preferably on a Thursday, that's my off day! PLease! Pleazzzzzzzzzzzzzzze!



Sleaze! LSD= Love Sex aur Dhoka: Likely companion, those three words of each other, still it was "soooooo shocking"! Specially that poster of it!



Some one: Its not normal to design such a kind of poster! Its shocking!

What two pares of feet, for god's sake it can be father and daughter too, but LSD: those three words, give it, it's meaning!

P.S. The only shocking part as per Indian's would be, smaller sets of feet are above! Well does that not imply: Girl is taking initiative ;)


Have a shocking read! I am also using "!" to give shocking, some shocking effect!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Last Wish!

To night
under the moonlight
Sun shines for you
as Angels decent
Teary eyed
i hold your hand
as Angels decent
from heavens
i see you
smile
for i hold
your hand
through the
last of your
BREATH!
oh! lord!
I cant let go
just
cant let go
not now
oh! God!
for once
and
only once
let me
prevail
over you
for once
and
only once
I wanna live
with her
all over
again
all
those
moments
that i missed
i want to live again
to share them with her!
Or else,
just take me
along besides her,
I pray
teary eyed
as angels decent
through the sun shine
in this moon light
to night
oh! God!
Grant my last wish.



Some thoughts are just too scary to think about and not feel anything, and so do some sentences, stories and emails, can be emotional. One such story about how two people love each other but never tell, and then its too late. This poem is based on one such small story, and some otheer casual utterances.




Saturday, March 6, 2010

Stress!



After joining a job, first thing that most people learn about is Stress, but most are not able to identify it as stress, so here are certain easy externally visible signs, which can be seen in mirror or if you see them on someone else, help them out.

  1. Messed Hair: as can be seen in display picture, most people end up touching their scalp, and messing up the hair style. You will have spikes without using any gel, which should lower the stress, because gel cost's a lot these days.

  1. Clothes: You dress up very well, impeccable, well ironed, and think you look very good in it. You would if it were not those colours. People under stress seem to lose sense of colour. For that well ironed dress will have Red trousers, Orange Shirt and Florescent Green. Not to forget they can be totally yesteryears fashion. Not to forget most common, noticeable, and oldest give away, an unmatched pair of socks.

  1. Hairs again? Well Beards, those joint eyebrows, what is waxing? These are small things, but they are a giveaway, not to forget nails. Well one way to see it is, you lose hair at top and grow it elsewhere.

  1. Black Eyes: No, no punching oneself, no dreams where in you kick your boss, they generally do not hurt you, unless you go and decide to live your dream, just that those black bags just below the eyes show up, and are really visible as if you are punched in the eye, not one but both.

  1. Pain: Yes Stress pains, over shoulders, joints, legs, everywhere you can imagine, and it's real. For boss, if your employee says his/her's nose/butt is paining believe it, s/he might be under stress.

  1. Itch: You can really get itchy, and it’s not irritation of skin, but of brain that itches more. One interesting thing I read is "You do not understand the importance of itch, until you get one that you cannot scratch." And Crotch is called so, because it needs scratch. Well you cannot go scratching in front of your colleagues and worst not in front of your boss and even more worst, it adds lot to your stress. If you believe it does not, just imagine the situation.

Well hope this helps you to identify stress.

Disclaimer: I am not by any chance an expert on stress, this was just a way of not labelling people Devdas or Pagla etc...... ;)