Morning was not such a welcome time of the day for him, still he was quite early riser for a person who never worked days and never would have. And had one interesting habit, every morning he would search for the nearest wall, where ever he had fallen asleep last night, to release the pressure and read what was written on the wall. And those words some how made some sense to him, in a twisted way.
Today it was: "Yahan thukna mana hai!" (Do not spit.) he read it out loud.
A voice from behind: "Oye! Yeh kya kar raha hai! Yahan ye sabh mana hai!" (What are you doing, this is not allowed here.)
He: "Yahan thukna mana hai, mutna thodi na!" (It says not to spit, not not to pee.)
That was a cop, and hence our Mr street smartypants is a jail bird for the day.
No! This was not a setback but rather an opportunity, if he could tick the cops some more, his dinner would also be ensured. Since 25 years of existence he had never paid for a grain of food, being orphan meant not taking care of anyone and hence from the start of the day to end of it, all the living meant was to get some food.
No! He is no beggar, would not even dream of being one, half a thief, stole only clothes and hearts for a day, lavish clothes, resulted in lavish food and lavish company, or just food. None could forget him, he was such a charmer, but he never made promises, so never have had to keep a date with any. Every day was not rosy, someday's lavish food came from the garbage of a restaurant of repute. A care free man or just an intelligent scum dog.
He was well aware of happenings in country and what so called elites joked about. If he wanted, he could put on a hell of a show.
He:" Gand main dum nahi saalo ke, isliye raste pe mutne walon ko pakd late hai, aur desh pe mutne waloon ke juthe saaf karte hain! Hijde!" (Don't have strength to take corrupt politicians, whose shoes you clean, and to showcase a filled file, arrest poor's peeing on streets.) To the cop at desk.
Cop: "Arey isko aaj raat yahin rakhna, bohot charbi chadhi hain, utarni padegi."(Keep him for the night, he needs to lose some fat.) and he got what he wanted.
The next moment was interesting, it had not come as yet but arrived on time. A honest cop walk's in dragging the current well connected don, with barely identifiable features and hairstyle that hide most of identifiable face. He is put in same cell as our smartypants-Johny.
Johny: "Kya kia, konse gali main dhaar mari?" (What did you do? Where were you peeing?) to Don.
Don just looked at him with disdain thinking this punk might not know, with whom he is trying to be friendly and just kept on looking, astonished. And starts touching Johny's face, nose, eyes, ears....
Johny: "Hey! Hat be, cross hai kya? Tu seedha nahi lagta." (Stop touching, you don't seem to be straight.)
Don: "Shhhhh" With angry look.
Johny decides to keep his distance, for safety.
The honest cop leaves and the scrubbed Don turns into a VIP, awesome lunch is ordered, clean warm water is given for cleaning up, and Johny is made to sit next to him for Don says so.
Johny thinks of his stars and how seriously wrong turn they were taking on him at a very wrong time. He was practically being packed up like that roasted Pig with a red Apple in it's mouth, that is me he said to himself. And then he remembered a wise saying, the other night, the woman in seductive black dress, having wine had said : "Har kutte ka din aata hain, par har din ka ek kutta bhi hota hain." (Every dog has his day, and then every day has it's dog.)
Johny thought it out loud: "Aaj ke din ka kutta main hu!"(I am the dog of the day.)
Don did not say a word, but urged Johny to finish his food, quickly and, quickly he did. After that Don decided to clean up his face and hair style. And to stylist he pointed out Johny's face: "I want that look." And that look is what he got. It was Johny's turn to stare and touch now, the resemblance was uncanny. One could have easily replaced the other.
Johny: "Mujhe yaad nahi, ki main kisi kumbh ke mele main bhichad gaya tha, par kya tu apna bhai hai kya?"(I do not recollect having a brother, are you?)
Next thing Johny could not understand what was going on, he was forced into changing into Don's clothes and Don into his. And switchover was complete. Don walked out in Johny's clothes that evening, as the honest cop walked in.
The stress lines on cops face made it pretty evident that he was under lot of pressure because of the last arrest, the Don's arrest and their was only one right thing to do, "Encounter". Though it was wrong, he was not willing to let go a criminal with so many murders against his name.
He got up, opened the cell, dragged Johny thinking him as Don and took of with him in his Jeep. And just drove it with such speed, that Johny thought the cop is trying to be part of an accident. His pleas about who he really is had fallen on deaf ears and the others who knew, had become part of it.
Waking up at wrong place on a wrong day can take you on your most dreaded journey. The honest cop stopped the Jeep and got a newspaper out,
Cop: "Yeh dekho, apni chati chodi karke chappwai thi yeh tasvir akhbar main, ki koi policewala tujhe chu bhi nahi sakhta, abey, sare policewale chudiya nahi pahente, aaj tere din pure honge, kutte.(Look at this, this is your face, you got this published to boost about your power, that none of the cops could lay a hand on you, but I am not one of those sissy's. I am going to end it here, you dog.)"
Johny: "Main woh nahi hu jo aap mujhe samajh rahe hain!"(I am not who you think I am.)
Those word did not matter, cop got his gun pointed at back of Johny and made him walk deep into the forest, in outskirts of city. And then at the edge of cliff, a girl in red dress having wine in one hand and a gun in other is seen. Cop makes Johny sit down, and he too hides. Cop recognizes her as an aide of Don while Johny as the seductive girl from that party, but she is not alone, and with them; none other than the Don himself.
Cop moved all the three in one corner, their was no other person there. He was totally confused, there were 2 Don's now, hence one was telling the truth and other was not. There were all the ingredients of a mix-up in place.
Johny started wailing: "Hey bhagwan! iss bar naiya par laga diyo, abke se kisi bhi dewar par pesab nahi karunga. Arey mutne ki bhi kya itni badi saza hoti hain." (Oh god! please save me, I promise i will never pee on any wall, the punishment for peeing can not be so big.)
And as Johny said this, Don made his move and shot at cop, and cop in reflex action shot him. Don died, on the spot, leaving the girl & Johny alive, Cop survived.
They sat down in the car and drove away, on way to Don's place Johny said "Aaj ke din ka kutta woh tha, par mera naam bhi kareeb tha."(Today's dog was Don, but my name was on list too.)
At that moment girl became sure she had the right guy with her. With the help of Cop, Johny rounded of the whole gang and became a pure businessman and she his wife, and he kept his promise to god, used bathroom. Cop became their chief security officer.
